I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
