Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
