Taylor Swift is so right about you.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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