butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
