Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
