He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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