at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
