Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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