Well douche your snatch and let's go!
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
