There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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