The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
