I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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