Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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