I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
