I must be too annoying 4 u.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
