hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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