I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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