Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
