Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
