Barsexuality is the new black.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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