hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
