She said her name was "party"
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
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