I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
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