on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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