Swine flu. Run for my life!
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
