soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
