idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
