Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
