should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
