I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
