Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
