if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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