somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
