No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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