Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
