Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
It's blow job season.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
