you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
