i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
you made out with another girl for some wings
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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