dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
