all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
