I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
