I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
