Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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