Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
