is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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