I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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