we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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