Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
