We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
