Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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