They should really pass out barf bags in church
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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